What is the goal?
How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about that question?
To be honest, If someone asked me, I’d feel uncomfortable. I don’t wanna tell other people about my body and how I feel about it. They can see it, they can see what’s wrong with it.
Okay, so that question might never be asked, I’ve never been asked it, but our bodies and our appearances are part of our everyday conversations and part of our everyday thoughts, and for me, the automatic response to something to do with body image is to withdraw from the conversation or try and change it as quickly as possible. Anyone else? I’m not sure why it’s such an uncomfortable subject, although it might have something to do with the fact that I’m not my bodies number 1 fan.
In fact, there appears to almost be a culture that’s developed, it’s almost like a norm for us to just not like our bodies. I don’t think we think about how everyone else might feel about their body-image, and often the assumption is that others ‘must’ be fine with how they look because we think ‘it's better than me’.
Low self-image comes from comparing ourselves to others. If we all looked exactly the same, we wouldn’t be so reluctant to love who we are and accept ourselves. Imagine if everyone looked like you, then who would you aspire to look like? What would your ultimate idea of beauty be? You wouldn’t have one, because you wouldn’t have anyone to compare yourself to.
The constant comparisons between ourselves and others are causing us to turn against ourselves and develop low self-esteem. I can tell you now that there is not one person who doesn’t feel self-conscious about a part of their body. Because it doesn’t look like someone else, the more ‘ideal’ way to look. I can tell you now that all the models and celebrities that you follow and aspire to be like on Instagram have insecurities about their bodies. Because that’s what we are programmed to do. We are programmed to compare ourselves to others and to always seek to improve ourselves. We are influenced through companies constantly advertising the latest beauty product to change something about ourselves and look ‘better’. We are influenced by them using ‘confident’, beautiful celebrities who so many people aspire to look like and be like. And yes, they are beautiful, i’m not saying they’re not, We all are, but we are influenced and pressured by everything around us to change our appearance.
We are all in the same boat because we are all different.
We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. What are we achieving by putting ourselves down and trying to reach unattainable goals? What is the goal? There isn’t one, because no matter what, there are always going to be people you compare yourself to, always another feature of yourself that ‘needs’ to be changed because someone else looks ‘better’ and so they must be really comfortable in their own skin. That’s what we look for, right? Comfort?
Let’s take control now, and be kind to our bodies and ourselves. Because there isn’t a highest level of beauty to reach. There is no ‘better’. Beauty lies completely within you and the person that you are. You are worth kindness and deserve to feel comfortable in your skin. So to start you off on your #BeBodyKind mission…
Start a diary. You don’t need to give up lots of time for this, but get yourself a little notebook, it could even be some post it notes, and each day write down three positive things about yourself. It can be anything, because self-acceptance comes from knowing your value and understanding that that value doesn’t come from a tape measure or how many things you think are wrong with your appearance. It comes from your actions and how you treat others and who you are as a person. Write down the things that you do like about yourself and then write down one that you don’t like, something that you wish you could change about yourself. Write it down now.
Over the next week, really make an effort to make friends with that part of your body. Focus on it and nurture your body, show that you care about it by taking care of it.
We can be happy in our bodies. I promise you, it’s more possible than it seems. But it has to start with you. No one else can do it for you. #BeBodyKind.
And remember next time you’re scrolling through Instagram, everyone analyses their appearance. And I mean EVERYONE.